Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Gratitude and issues Revised*

This post was originally posted on Wednesday evening and then taken off because I felt a little too exposed but upon thinking it over I decided to post it.
I honestly don't much like Thanksgiving. It isn't that I am not thankful, I am. It is just that as a kid I remember thinking that the Native Americans got the shaft. As an adult I usually have to work the day before and/or the day after. It makes it difficult for me to really get into a festive state of mind. The mass consumption of food that goes on would mean more to me I think, if food were treated with more respect. Our culture has some SERIOUS issues with food. Oh, and while I am at I get so angry when I hear about people "turkey bowling" WTF is up with that? If people are going to eat flesh, I can't stop them, but for a turkey to live in typical poultry farm conditions and then to be slaughtered only to have it's frozen carcass hurled down a bowling alley or wherever this inane activity takes place is just WRONG people. I don't care why people do it.
In a previous post I commented on the reality of holidays with my family. I don't mind really. (*Actually had a great day with family for the most part.) It is just the way we work or don't work together. OK so I am getting to the gratitude portion of this post. Really.
For a variety of reasons the last few years have been really hard for me. This year was the hardest. I am a glass half empty person by nature and I don't always rise above that though I try. I thought a lot about ending everything more than once. My friend Karen, just by being her wise woman self helped more than she knows during some rough times. Another is a person that I have only met online Angelina helped so much by laying bare her own thoughts and struggles in such an eloquent way usually at exactly the right time. I think she must be psychic. I am so grateful for both of these women. I guess in light of tomorrow and all the thanks that will be said I would like to thank them and the other kind people who have left comments on my blog, especially Lisa and Natalie. I am often in a dark space in my head and just seeing that I have a comment on a post can make it a tiny bit brighter. I am feeling a lot of sadness at this time. Some family issues that I can't really go into and some personal, I am trying to not get mired down while still dealing with my life. I am grateful for my friends and family that have stuck with me even though I haven't been the easiest to be around. Thanks.
So just to recap, Say NO to turkey bowling. It is wrong. Thanks to all who read and leave messages. *Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving.


Angelina said...

I'm really happy you finally started a blog! I'm also incredibly glad when anything I have to say helps someone else like me out. We have to help each other not feel alone.

I am so happy to be getting to know you and am determined that we will get together one of these days just to hang out with your hen or my hens.

It makes me very happy that you haven't offed yourself and I'm really hoping you'll be around for a long time so we can continue to be friends!

Lisa said...

Tonia, I'm so glad to have met you online and really enjoy your blog and what you have to say and hope to meet you in real life sometime.

I'm so sorry that you are experiencing so much darkness and family trouble.

Tonia said...

Thanks very much to both of you. I wish I lived closer to Mcminnville or that there was a train that ran between here and there. I do look forward to meeting you guys sometime in the not too distant future. -t

Natalie said...

((hugs)) said...

Thanks for putting your post back up. It was heartfelt and I could identify with lots of your observations. Turkey bowling. Jeez.

I did a double-take too at one of your side links, I have house rabbits and do rabbit rescue work with If you're ever near Los Angeles, come visit.


Tonia said...

I just noticed you left a comment, thank you. I had a house rabbit for 8 years. I had to have her put to sleep due to a back injury. It was so very hard. I would love to adopt another one but the three cats are about all the house can handle. I will indeed look you up if I get to L.A. Cheers! tonia