Saturday, July 25, 2009

self portrait saturday

I just can't get it together today. I have a doctor's appt Monday morning so I scheduled the day off. I have a three day weekend. I should be psyched but all I want to do is sleep. It is supposed to be really hot today. Like over a 100 degrees hot. Listening to David Bowie sing about Modern Love. I love the opening line, "I know when to go out, I know when to stay in, get things done" in that accent...
I have an art group dinner tonight. Yeah! I am bringing a salad from Ina Garten's book, Barefoot Contessa at Home. I am thinking either the pesto pea salad or the guacamole salad. Maybe glad I don't have to turn the oven on.
Feeling much more settled today than I did all week. Ohhh, Thursdays are clogging night. Guess what song we put on? Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners. I know, D-O-R-K! I am ok with that. Oh, that song just makes me a grinning idiot. It is perfect for clogging to. Click below to see some clogging

Thursday, July 23, 2009

It's all about perspective

This week's drawing class was about perspective. You know, the artist holding up his/her thumb in front of whatever it is they are drawing? Always wondered I know. In class we actually used bamboo skewers, (The kind used to ummm...skewer things, like veggies, to make shish kebabs. Yes, I know other stuff is skewered on them but not in my world.), to serve as a unit of measurement. I did not like this class one bit. My arm hurt after an hour or so of holding it out, putting it down, forgetting the measurement, doing it again, putting it down, double checking... in front of a bunch of boxes stacked on top of each other. It didn't seem artistic at all, it seemed like math to me. When you start in one place you need stay in that place because if you move it changes your perspective. I got frustrated and felt a bit rebellious so I sketched what I saw without using the skewer. When the instructor came around to critique and offer words of wisdom, she paused in front of my easel and pointed at the free hand sketch. "That is what I am talking about, good angles, nice placement, good perspective," she said. (I said thanks and chuckled to myself.)

Last Sunday I was checking my gmail account. It is one that I don't check regularly. I was scanning through and noticed two emails from a name from my distant past. This wasn't someone I expected to hear from ever, so I honestly thought it was a mistake. I opened the more recent one first. It was from the person that I knew oh, 23 or so years ago. Someone, that while not looking for me, found me because of the title of my blog. Unbeknownst to me the song by Donovan Catch the Wind had been associated with me in this person's mind at one time. We never listened to it or talked about it and the association was made after we had parted ways. Apologies of past behaviour were made. Apologies for what? I wondered. Given the years of non-contact and my age at the time (young) and his age, young (but older by, ahem, some years) I had a pretty tight lid on that period in my life. Thoughts of him had dwindled to the random, I wonder what he's doing these days? Explanations and apologies were provided in subsequent emails and filled in some of the blank holes but strangely, instead of feeling settled I feel angry. Would it have made a difference knowing that I had actually mattered to this person? I've always treated that time in a rather cavalier fashion because it hurt too much to treat it with the importance it deserved. I chalked it all up to something in me that was lacking or wrong. To find out that I was special and cherished while at the same time being pushed away for reasons unknown to me (at the time) is gratifying to a point. I have been given a new perspective on a pivotal time of my life. It is requiring some changes in how I view my past and present. This shift has been unsettling to say the least. Ultimately I think it is a positive thing and I am grateful to this person for taking the time to make contact. (Although the bouts of random tears are growing tiresome.)

Monday, July 6, 2009

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Guitar hero and lyric writing god...

I have been playing guitar again after 20+ years. I was never very good, probably because I didn't practice. I started taking lessons this week after a couple of weeks of working on chord transitions on my own. I was really blown away by what I remembered from my lessons almost 30 years ago! I am still in the beginning stages but find myself picking up the guitar and running through some arpeggios just for fun. If you would have said 6 months ago, "Tonia, you are going to start playing the guitar again and you are going to practice for hours at a time." I would have laughed at you and asked you what you had been smoking. I mean really, one more thing to add to the list of things to do. Now it is bumping some things off the list. I am borrowing the guitar from my brother who is very, very good.
I have many things to thank an ex-boyfriend for but introducing me to the music of this man
is at the top of the list. Here is a link to a youtube video of him and his son, Teddy, If you get a chance and are at all curious, go to
They are performing one of my favorite songs, the video is lame but the performance is excellent.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

You know where you can put your fireworks...

I detest the 4th of July. ABSOLUTELY DETEST IT. The amount of money that is spent on fireworks, legal and illegal is appalling. The noise is upsetting to animals and snarly old bitties like me. My neighbor, (the lame one that doesn't control his dog) and his normally nice girlfriend are setting off some really loud ones. No pansy assed sparklers for them. Nope, they have chosen some stuff from Mexico. They are going with ones that you feel in the pit of your stomach when they go off. I am not sure what is being celebrated? Are we celebrating our independence from a nationalized health care system, the civilized custom of tea and some of the sexiest accents in the world? Sorry, I can think of other things that I would rather be free from. Things like monster trucks, red neck yahoos that drive monster trucks and really inconsiderate neighbors. I would gladly celebrate freedom from those things.