Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Finding my voice.

This picture has nothing to do with anything in particular.
I think about my blog a lot during the day. Things I want to say and how to say them. I think about other people's blogs a lot during the day also, especially Angelina's and Riana's thought provoking ones. I think about who I know that might read what I write and what they might think. I have been kind of floating along in limbo not sure what direction to head this blog in. I have so many ideas and opinions jostling around in my head. I am often overwhelmed with them all, but when the time comes to actually write something they fly away. If I can hold on to one or two of them long enough to start to write something then there is usually a visit from SELF DOUBT. That usually involves a barrage of questions like: What do you know about the subject, anyway? Are your facts straight? People are going to disagree with you, are you sure you want that? Are you sure about that punctuation? Gosh, do you want people to think you're a freak? So I think I need to look at it from the angle of what do I want to get out of it? I want/need to connect with people that are actively trying to figure out where they fit in this crazy world. I don't get much satisfaction from my job. I am definitely a square peg amongst a bunch of round ones there. I don't think America is the greatest country on the planet. We could be so much more than we are now. I think we could be capable of great things but it isn't going to happen under this regime and if McPalin get in, not then either. I AM A BLEEDING HEART LIBERAL in a sea of conservatism.
On top of all that, I am doing just about the most unpatriotic thing I could do other than burning a flag. I am trying to curb my consumption of STUFF. I have fallen into the retail therapy mindset far too often. Looking for someTHING to make me feel better because I had a bad day at work or was feeling lonely or needed to feel different. This change in thinking has been percolating for several years and now I am now trying to put some of my ideas into action. Our society is geared towards the consumption of goods, the more the better at the cheapest cost possible. Check this out here for an informative and disturbing read. I read this on Riana's blog.


Aly The Red-Bliss Monkey Studio said...

Buy nothing for a year? Whoa..... that's impressive, but how could I do that? I couldn't make art because I "need" to buy "supplies".... wow, that's something to think about that Rianna site. I'll have to read more. I'm freaked what she said about glycerine in toothpaste preventing our enamel from working. ?!!!

Tonia said...

I know, but it kind of makes sense in the perpetuating the need to go to dentists kind of way. I went to Mrs. Thompson's yesterday and bought some tooth powder. I could've made my own, but I thought I'd give it a whirl. I really like it. I know the supplies issue could be an interesting problem. Are you going to the Celebration this weekend?

Tonia said...
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farmlady said...

Just keep writing. No self doubts. Don't worry what other people think. Be who you are. What you write is very interesting.

Angelina said...

But Riana likes to challenge herself to do what seems impossible because she enjoys that. You can make great strides in the same direction without starting off so extreme. You could decide not to buy anything but what you consider necessary. If you are an artist then you will need supplies, but what about not buying clothes for a year? What about not buying any body products for a year and making all your own? (Just buy the ingredients like baking soda that are necessary. There are so many ways to cut down on consumerism.

About your blog- I think it's off to a great start. Why worry about what direction it will take? Why not let it unfold organically. Write what you feel you need to write. I am biased in favor of lots of pictures. I personally prefer blogs that are just about a person's life unfolding- blogs that touch on many aspects of a person's life. I get tired of blogs that are too concentrated on one subject.

Explore. Squash self doubt. Your voice will become clear in the absence of doubt.